Not Complying With Parenting Plan

by Anonymous from Somewhere in Florida

My ex-wife and I have been divorced for four years now.  When we first went to mediation, we created a parenting plan that gave me three weekend visitations per month to begin on Friday night and to end when the kids were dropped off at school on Monday.

My ex-wife was to have one weekend and was to let me know what weekend that was before the end of the month.

She has never let me know in advance if she was going to keep the kids (we have 2 age 9 and 5) for the weekend.

After I complained enough, she now tells me on Thursdays. My ex-wife has since moved from where she was living when we wrote the parenting plan, making it impossible for either myself or my current wife to take the kids to school on Mondays.

Ever since August, my ex-wife has been scheduling the children to go to extra-curricular activities that take place on the weekends.

She schedules these activities so that they are every single weekend and then won't allow me to get the kids until they are finished with the activity which could be as late as 2pm on Saturday.

I have tried to tell her that I want to be able to pick up the kids on Friday night, but she refuses.

On top of that, she has stated that she has the right to do as she pleases and I just have to pick up the kids when they are finished with these activities.

Most times she then asks the kids if they really want to come to my house and if they say no, she won't deliver them.

I have gone almost a month without having my son because of this and now she is telling me I can pick him up late Saturday afternoon, but I have to drop him back off on Sunday due to school.

I am at a loss as to what to do.

Answer to Visitation & Parenting Plan Question

Dear Anonymous,

You have at least two choices.

You can file a Motion for Civil Contempt & Enforcement, Form 12.960 to enforce the existing parenting plan that you have.

Have a look at our Family Law Forms page for an interactive & fillable download of this form and others.

I'm not sure whether this is what you want to do, since you stated that your ex-wife had moved.

The transportation to school sounds like it may be a problem.

Your second alternative is to file a Supplemental Petition to Modify Parenting Plan Time-Sharing Schedule and Other Relief, Form 12.905(a).

In this petition you can request to change the parenting plan based on your current circumstances.

A petition for modification must be based on changed circumstances, but those changes can be changes of and by any of the parties.

Her tactic of giving the children the choice of going with you on your weekend, is an old tactic, and don't doubt the family law judges are on to it.

And if she is preventing your children from spending time with you or encouraging them to stay with her on your weekend, that may be considered "alienation of affection".

That technique is also an old one, and family court judges are well aware of the manipulative tricks some ex's use against one another.

Reader Comments

Wife is Denying Visitation
by Andrew from Miami, Florida, Miami-Dade County

Me and my wife are separated but not divorced. My son has been living with me at my parents for the past 3 months.

My son is 7 months old. Yesterday my wife and I had an argument where there was heavy verbal fighting and she ended up slapping me.

Then decided to take my son and left the house screaming and yelling that she wasn't going to let me see my son until the court told her to. Can she really do that?

--My suggestion is that you file a Parenting Plan, Form 12.995(a); or a Supervised/ Safety-Focused Parenting Plan, Form 12.995(b). You do not have to be divorced or divorcing to file a Parenting Plan.

Both you and your wife will likely be required to attend a Parenting Class. The clerk of court can give you information about where Parenting Classes are offered.

Judges do not have much patience for parents that use their children as weapons to hurt the other. I expect a judge will not look favorably on her behavior.

If there is a possibility of her leaving the area with your son, you should make sure that the court knows that, and takes steps to prevent her from doing so. --Staff

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Page last updated 03/20/2015
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