Threats to Withhold Child Support

by Dawn from Jacksonville, Florida, Duval County

Threats to Withhold Child Support:
Can my ex-husband threaten me with Child Support arrearage when I speak of custody and visitation modification?

When we were divorced in 2001 my ex-husband received full custody of my daughter and I received supervised visitation.

This came about because I did not, and could not afford legal representation and was unaware of my rights.

I had primary residential custody of my son which makes the fact that I was given supervised visitation with my daughter ludicrous. I was in no position to support them both and told him she could live with him as long as I had unfettered access to her.

He instead went for my throat in the divorce removing nearly all of my rights to her. I was forced to see her in a "Family Nurturing Center" with someone watching and listening to my every move. This lasted for maybe a year, I'm not quite certain of the time period, but eventually he and I decided together that it was unnecessary for us to use this service.

Eventually about a year and a half after the divorce he broke the court ordered supervised visitation and let her begin spending the day with me, leading into the night which lead into whole weekends. At some points he's let me have her for a week, although not often.

He was awarded child support when the divorce was final although I was a full time student at that time and was not employed. His assessment is that there is about $11,000 in arrearage although I started having it deducted through a child support order as soon as I became employed.

My question is this: I am not given enough time with my daughter. She is now 12 years old and I have to beg for any time over and above my every other weekend.

There have been times when I have told him that I would like more time, just the standard visiting schedule that most non-custodial parents are entitled to and mentioned getting a visitation modification.

It is at this point that he threatens to take me to court for the arrearage, although he never mentions it otherwise.

Is there something I can do legally about this?

Is this sort of threatening against the law?

Answer to Florida Court Forms Child Support Question

Dear Dawn,

In theory child support and visitation are two completely separate issues. It is a shame that your ex is being coercive and manipulative towards you. I don't know how you could convince a judge that his threats are illegal since it's true that you owe the back child support.

If the child support was awarded when you did not have the ability to pay, you might be able to file a Motion to Abate child support and convince the court that the child support award was made in error.

Then you would be on a more even level with him, and might stand a better chance of modifying your child visitation.

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